Scandalous Love - Chapter 3

Christmas Isn't Your Birthday  by Mike Slaughter
Chapter 3 - Scandalous Love

For you created my inner most being;

you knit me together in my mothers womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them! (Psalm 139: 13-17)

What does it mean to be loved?

OK here we go! I will admit up front that this is not the easiest chapter to sort out. We will take a bit different path from the author at times but I can assure we will wind up in the same place. Uncovering the true meaning of love as it relates to true self is HUGE. Taking this topic and connecting it to our understanding of our personal relationship with God ... sooo much HUGER!  The author crafts a common picture of how we as human beings develop our sense of self. We are largely dependent on reaction and results from the world around us.  It is so easy to build our worth based on the judgement of others. From the moment we come into the world we are expected to perform based on certain norms.  Relationships have the potential to be formed based on how well we succeed.  It seems to make sense to build our framework from this information and if it is where we focus then it is what we say we know.  Perception is reality. From that point we begin to develop an image of who we should be; the question is, is it who we really are?

Here's an interesting quote from this chapter:

Is it any wonder that we learn early on to portray ourselves as being someone other than who we really are and create layers of emotional defenses to protect ourselves from relational pain?

We know that we are fundamentally relational creatures meaning we are created to be in community with each other. And we are created to love and be loved. These two elements create an dependence or reliance of one another. This is here the paradox begins. Assimilating this information with how we develop a sense of self begs the question where and how can we find true love and maintain true self?

You can see the answer coming! The One who knows our true self and loves in the purest fashion reminds us over and over that we are loved unconditionally yet some how we still have trouble accepting this belief.  We know our faults and see ourselves as not worthy. We focus instead on whether we are holding up our end of the bargain.  Are we loving God enough?  Are we making the right choices in our faith and devotion? How do we measure up?  While this reflection is very important, somehow by putting the ball back in our own court we are able to maintain control. Again our actions provide a result. Is this really so?  In this chapter a great deal of print is devoted to our betrayal of the truest love we will ever know.  We have adultered this relationship time and time again. We covet other items, ideals and relationships regularly. Own it, deal with it.  The materialism of Christmas is surely an example of this. Though we may not have gotten to this place alone from this step forward it becomes our responsibility.  But in order to understand and change this we must understand there is a paradox.

At the risk of oversimplifying this topic, I would propose we turn it upside down then inside out! I actually mean this literally. If you first turn upside down the priorities that may have developed in our lives based on cultural and relational expectations we might find Jesus closer to the top of the list at this time of the year and maybe year around.  If we look for love and relationship from within first we might think first of our true self and in turn the God that created us. Where we begin is critical to where we end up. We may need to fight instinct and go against the cultural norm but it may be where we will find our truer self. The one that God created.

The author provides many examples of all that happens in our world that we may know about yet choose to ignore.   Right now we can hardly ignore the tragedy of the Sandy Hook shooting and for most of us we cannot begin to understand or even sort out the emotions it brings to the surface.  Our reaction to these events is very telling in our relationship with God.  Once again there are so many questions. No answers, but our response is an outpouring of love.

And so the pattern repeats itself.  I immediately think back to Mary.  And the paradox remains. Unexplained mystery.  Embrace it! Whether the tragedy is personal, in another state, or global if we are secure in the belief that God loves us the response is always the same. Outpouring of love. So I challenge you to turn it upside down and flip it inside out and see where you land.  My guess is that you will find a fresh perspective, an acceptance of your true self and an undying love of your creator.

Peace & Prayers
and a Very Merry Christmas,
Elaine

Questions for Reflection
1. Do you believe that God loves you madly, passionately and unconditionally?  Think about the deepest, most enduring relationships you have experienced - with a parent, spouse, friend or child. If these are but a glimpse of the relationship that God seeks with you, what must that mean about God's love?

2. God promises to bring good out of bad, to raise up the lowly, and to comfort the afflicted. How would you view your life if you trusted completely in those promises?

3. What would it mean for us to show love "scandalously"?  How would that be different from the safe cautious ways we often show Christ's love in the world?